


Voices in my Head

by insomniabelike



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Deceit | Janus Sanders Needs a Hug, M/M, Multi, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27476197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insomniabelike/pseuds/insomniabelike
Summary: In this world, soulmates can communicate with each other after the older one turns 10. There is superstition and rumors about what happens if they say any personal information on themselves imbedded in the people since the day they're born. They're supposed to let fate decide. You'll get a warm feeling when you meet your soulmate for the first time.You also feel a fraction of what your soulmate is feeling when it is an intense emotion.Virgil and Janus never really fit in, and neither wanted to make their soulmates suffer with them. So they've never talked to their soulmates.Well, that'll change.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton (Sanders Sides), Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 26
Kudos: 62





	1. Janus' Backstory

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains Abuse, Death, Homophobia, Polyphobia, Transphobia, Karens, Polyamory, Self-Hatred, Self-Harm, Ableism, Bullying, Fire, Religious Commentary, Homophobic Slurs and Panic Attacks.  
> This is applying to the whole story.  
> Please, if you are triggered by any of this, leave.

Janus' first few years of life were happy. He lived with his mothers, Kathy and Christy. He had his pet snake, and he had his mothers and that was enough.

Until the night of the fire. 

The night where everything would change. 

A 10 year old Janus awoke to screaming. It sounded like his mom! He didn't notice the red light all around him. He tried to grab the door handle to see why there was screaming.

It was scorching hot. He screamed and pulled his hand off of it. He felt red hot flames crawl up the right side of his body and convulsed in pain. He fell to the ground, hacking, wheezing, and screaming. Smoke had filled his room and he had breathed in a lot of it. He felt his small snake, Everest, by his face. 

He heard sirens getting loud in his ears.

He couldn't breath.

He couldn't move.

He just sat there and screamed in pain for hours it seemed.

He could feel his skin seeming to melt. He was dying, he knew he was. 

Suddenly, he was jerked up and away from the smoke, he didn't feel like his skin was on fire anymore, though it was burning as someone's hand was brushing against his blistered skin. He felt Everest on his left arm. 

He could breathe again. He was set onto cold snow. He felt tears still spilling out of his eyes. The sirens were loud. He was carried into one of the ambulances. He called for his moms. He wanted to know if they were okay. But he soon passed out from the pain on his right side. 

He awoke a little later in a hospital room. He heard a continuous beeping, which he knew was a heart monitor. He looked around and all he saw were the faces of people he didn't know. 

"Hello, buddy. I hear you're called Janus, huh?" Said a nice looking man. "I'm Dr. Elliot. You went through a pretty nasty fire."

He just nodded.

"Well, we drew straws, and unfortunately, I have to be the one to inform you. Neither of your parents made it out of the fire." The man said sadly.

Janus felt numb. How? Why would the universe do this to him? He was overwhelmed with sadness and sobbed openly, burying his face in his hands. 

"But good news, you'll be going into foster care, and you'll get to be with a nice family who loves you just as much." 

He just continued to sob. 

After a few days of recovery and treating his burns, he was allowed to meet his new foster family. 

His whole left side was burned a lot, he had a ton of scars on his face, one going from the corner of his mouth to his ear, the only place that didn't have the bright red burn marks. That part of his face had been covered with bandages, along with his arm and torso the best they could. 

He heard a knock at the door of the hospital. 

Three figures walked in. A stern looking older woman and two kids, one obviously the woman's biological son, and the other was probably another foster.

"Hello, sweety. My name's Karen. It's lovely to meet you. I heard about what happened. It's simply tragic." The older lady- Karen, said. "This is my son Ridley and this is Camomile, another foster child." 

"Hello." Camomile said, waving. 

Janus just waved. It was hard to talk with the bandages and the burns. 

After a few more weeks, he was ready to go and live with Camomile, Ridley, and Karen.

He packed up his remaining belongings, and hid Everest in his bag. 

"Get inside." Karen ordered bossily, seeming to be a completely different person then when they first met. "Whatever bullshit your mothers were teaching you before, we're going to unlearn it." She spat.

Janus hurried inside, not wanting to see what she'd do if he disobeyed. 

"Good." She said, closing the door behind her. "Now, in this house, we're all good christians. That means no sinning, including homosexuality, or mentioning it. Do not mention your fags of mothers, do not ever disobey me, as I know what is best in the eyes of the lord, and do not try and run away from punishment. If you're good, then maybe I'll let you eat. Janus gulped and nodded.

"Yes ma'am." 

"Did I say you could speak?"

"N-No ma'am."

"There it was again." She said. "I really didn't want to do this to you on your first day." 

His first punishment. It was painful. She had slapped him across the face with a ruler on the side that was burned. She'd done it again when he screamed, and a third time when he started to cry.

"Men do not cry. Now go to your room." 

This was now his living situation. He's now lived like this for 6 years. 

Of course his soulmates had started talking to each other, but he never listened. It wasn't his place to. 

Camomile was nice enough. She understood what it was like, Ridley was treated like a god in this household. 

He just wished that maybe one day he could get out of here.


	2. Beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman, Patton, and Logan's uneventful backstories, and them meeting

Roman lived a fairly normal life. He lived with his Mother, Father, and brother. They lived in a decently big house, and Roman was big on theater. He met his first soulmate in elementary school. A boy by the name of Patton. He was adorable. They were friends for a while and started dating in middle school. Roman is big on theater and I mean b i g on theater. He loved to sing and dance to disney songs, and he did his first play in 2nd grade. He was immediately in love with it and knew this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He was pretty happy.

Logan came along a little later in their freshman year of high school. They'd talked to each other before, but since there were superstitions, they didn't know the name, age, or location of their other soulmate. Patton had been the one to show him around and got that feeling that only meeting a soulmate could bring you. He'd immediately dragged the other boy to Roman's locker and introduced the two. 

The trio was happy, though they'd occasionally feel random feelings, like sadness, pain, hurt, scared, and none of them knew where they were coming from, and of course there was that time in 5th grade where they'd all felt the terror and excruciating pain. None of them had felt it, so they knew that something- or more accurately, someone- was missing. They had another soulmate, who wouldn't reveal themselves. 

They decided that was okay. If their soulmate didn't want to reveal themselves, they wouldn't try and reach them. In time, they would meet. That's how fate works. They just hoped it was soon. 


	3. Virgil's Backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The backstory of le ViVi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beep

Vanessa. It wasn't right. That wasn't her. She didn't feel like a _she_. 

She walked to her older brother's room. "Rem?" She asked, hair falling in her face some. God, she hated the long hair. 

Her brother opened the door. "Aye, V, come in." He said.

She walked inside and sat on the bed. "Uh... I came to talk to you about something."

"What is it, little sis?" He asked.

"Uh, that's the thing. I don't feel like your little sis. I think... I've been researching some, and I think I may be a demiboy." 

"Huh... So little sibling, or little bro?" He asked.

"Both." He said. "He/they pronouns."

"Ah, okay." He said. "You got a name, little sib?"

"I was thinking Virgil." He said. "Like the poet." 

"Nice name, babes. Want me to help you cut your hair? Cause god knows what father would do if you asked to cut your hair." 

"Sure. Can it be like yours but with bangs in the front?" He asked. 

"Absolutely. Then we can go shopping after!" Remy said doing jazz hands. It was a mystery how their father hadn't figured out he was gay yet.

Virgil laughed. Remy got to work on their hair. After it was done, Virgil looked at himself in the mirror. That was him, that was really him. There they were, the real them looking back. He laughed happily. 

"Now to the store!" Remy exclaimed. 

They marched out and Remy drove them to the mall. 

They looked through some clothes, and Virgil eventually found enough things, mainly hoodies and ripped jeans, he found a pin that said he/they, and Remy got a few binders for them. 

He was walking, looking through a few clothes in a shop, when he bumped into someone. He was knocked to the ground and the other seemed to spill some kind of drink on themself.

"Hey!" The voice said.

Virgil's stomach dropped. He'd know that voice anywhere. It was the voice of one of their soulmates, the one called Princey. "Sorry! Sorry Sorry!" He cried and ran off. 

He ignored the fuzzy feeling in their chest. 

"Rem!" He called. His brother turned. "We need to get out of here."

"Okay," Remy said. They walked out, not having seen anything in the store anyways. 

He was scared. Part of him wanted to run back and greet his soulmate, a louder part though, wanted to get as far away as he could. His soulmate couldn't see him like this. He was too girly, he didn't want to meet them without being fully himself. 

Roman was too angered about his white shirt being ruined to feel the feeling in his chest, so he didn't know about this boy, and he wouldn't for years. He was only in middle school, and so the missing feeling he had was assumed to be from the fact he hadn't met Logan, though he felt drawn to the boy for some reason. Ah, well, he'd probably never see him again anyways. 

Virgil was glad he'd gotten away, and glad he was finally getting to be himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boop Boop


	4. KArEn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's check up on Janus, shall we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha, enby janus go brrr  
> Also t slur in this chapter, and death, and mention of knives

Janus wasn't a guy, they knew this. After a few google searches, and a lot of sneaking around, they found the term _'Non-binary'._ It fit them. Of course, they couldn't tell Karen this, or she'd definitely try and harm them, but they were fine with just Camomile knowing. 

The only thing that Janus really cared about was art class. They loved the smell, the colors, everything about it. Their teacher was aware of Janus' situation with his mothers and with Karen, and she let them stay after school and before school if they liked. They could always come to her about their problems, and they actually felt comfortable talking around her. From all the years of _'Only speak when I allow you to!'_ they'd become selectively mute.

All this changed when they went into high school. Their new art teacher didn't seem trustworthy, and he didn't let Janus stay. They were forced to find a new place, which turned out to be a meadow. It was pretty, with lots of trees and soft grass, not the kind that'd make you itchy. There were a lot of flowers, mainly in yellows and purples. There were some pink flowering trees, but they were few and far between. 

Janus would've loved to paint it, but they didn't have anything to do it with, and their high school didn't have good supplies. There were rarely any people there, so most of the time it was just Janus alone with the animals and their thoughts. 

One day, Ridley heard a conversation between Janus and Camomile. He heard Janus being referred to with They/Them pronouns and immediately ran down to tell his mother. Karen was furious. "Janus!" She yelled and Janus came running, knowing from experience that you should always be a quick as possible when Karen calls you. 

The second they were down, she slapped them across the face. "You stupid tranny!" She spat. "You disgusting, disgusting boy." 

"Hey!" Called a voice from the doorway. 

There stood a hooman person. None of them had ever seen her before. 

"Who are you?" Demanded Karen.

"I'm your worst nightmare, but you can call me January." She said. 

"What are you doing here?" Karen demanded again.

"To murder you and your snitch son." She said, summoning a knife out of nowhere. 

"W-What?"

"You heard me. Abuse isn't cool, and you're a bitch, so ima kill you." 

"You can't do th-" January stabbed her in the chest before she could finish. She then stabbed Ridley in the same spot. Both of them keeled over, obviously dead.

"There, my work here is done." She said. "Oh, and both of you, don't snitch. Also we're gonna timeskip and you're gonna go to a new foster family now, haha, bye." She clapped her hands two times.

It was then a week later. Camomile and Janus were going to a new family in a new town. Their names were Thomas and Nico 

Hopefully they were nicer than Karen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah, gæ  
> Cameo of my friend, January, who wanted to be the one to kill Karen  
> Also I couldn't think of any other person for Thomas to be with and I didn't want him to be a single pringle, don't @ me  
> HAhhahH In editing, I have remembered Nico Flores exists, so we vibe with him now


	5. The New Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus and Camomile meet their new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't @ me please, I know that it's weird to ship real people, and I don't ship Thomas and Jon (Jon being Jon Cozart), I just thought I'd have them together in this. I said this last chapter too, but just restating.
> 
> Also, I am making Camomile genderfluid. Chill? Chill.

Janus was nervous. They were gripping their sibling's hand tightly. 

"I'm scared." Camomile whispered to them. 

"I am too. There are a lot of background checks on these guys though. They're also two guys that are married so maybe they'll be nicer."

"True." 

"Janus, Camomile, your new family is here." Said a person.

"Thank you." Camomile said. 

They walked out and saw two people. The second Janus saw them, they relaxed. Both of them had a kind look. They were both smiling, real, genuine smiles. 

"Hey, guys. I'm Thomas, and this is Nico." Thomas said. 

"Hi, I'm Camomile and this is Janus." Janus waved. 

"Welcome to the family!" Nico said. 

~~TimeSkip~~

Janus was happy. These people were actually nice. They were taking the kids shopping today so they could get any clothes or entertainment forms that they pleased. Janus was excited. It'd been years since they got to pick out their own clothes, and they hadn't gotten any entertainment forms for a while either. Camomile had been with Karen pretty much their entire life, so they had been forced to wear dresses, and be a perfect lady their entire lives. 

"Kids, it's time to go!" Thomas called up the stairs. Janus pulled out their headphones, yes, they had a phone to listen to whatever they wanted now! They walked downstairs. 

"Ready, Janus?" Jon asked. They nodded. "Great! Okay."

They drove to a store, Janus didn't pay attention to which one. They went around picking out clothes and stuff first. They were told to go to and pick out however many things they wanted for entertainment and decor for their rooms. 

Janus walked around. They found a small, low quality sketchbook, and some colored pencils. They found a section with pride flags and got a rainbow flag and a non-binary flag, hiding the non-binary one under other clothes and things, scared of what Thomas and Nico would say. 

"Oh hey, is that a non-binary flag?" Thomas asked, noticing. "Cool, you wanna use they/them pronouns?"

Janus was freaked out, but nodded slowly. "That's cool. You know we'll support you no matter what, right, Jan?" They nodded again, feeling a weight lift off their shoulders. "Now how about we get you some better art supplies. As much as you want." They grinned. They pulled Thomas into a hug. 

"Thank you." They said quietly. Thomas grinned too. That was the first time he'd heard Janus talk. 

"Anytime, J. Now let's get the art stuff. 

For once since he was 10 years old, he felt genuinely happy. Maybe things would be okay.


	6. Things Don't Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, of course if you think everything is gonna be okay, and say it, it's not gonna last. At least in fanfiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Double Uploading? No way-

Fuck, of course it didn't last. Shit. Why had they even said anything. So let's go back and see why Jan is freaking out. 

Janus and Thomas were getting a bunch of art supplies when they quite literally bumped into Janus' soulmate. They were walking, not paying attention, then they hit the chest of a very tall guy. 

"Ah!" They cried out, falling over. 

"My deepest apologies, fair fellow. I'm afraid I didn't see you there." The boy was very handsome. He had very defined features, he looked quite muscular. His eyes, god, Janus could look at them for hours. They were a chocolate brown color, but there were swirls of darker brown around them, and lighter brown highlights in places when the light hit them right. The tan he was sporting looked natural, like he'd just come from the beach, but it was winter, so that wouldn't make a lot of sense. It felt like they were staring for hours, though in reality, it probably wasn't even enough time for the other to look at their face properly. 

The boy held a hand out to them to help them up, but they knew this feeling. They'd heard it described before so many times. Fuck. "You-You're my-" 

They got up themselves and ran. They bolted. They already had their art supplies. They were scared. They knew the stories of soulmates hating each other, of them hurting each other, of people being hurt because of who their soulmates were. They also were nervous that theirs wouldn't like them. 

**'You're a freak, no one as beautiful as that would love you'**

**'He probably was going to hurt you since you're his soulmate'**

**'He could never love you'**

**'You've heard your soulmates talking together, they'll be fine without you'**

Those were all the voices he heard until...

 _'Excuse me, soulmate that I just ran into, please come back?'_ That was the same voice they'd just heard.

They ignored it. 

_'Please?'_

'No' They responded finally. 

_'No why'_

_'You'll hate me, so i'm staying away, go about your lives without me, you three are happy'_ They said. 

_'No, Love, please come back'_

They ignored it again.

"You good Janus?" Thomas asked. They nodded. "You ready to go?" They nodded again.

Nico and Camomile were talking about something next to them, but in their panic they couldn't care to hear what. 

They checked out, and only then did they feel safer again. They only relaxed completely when they were decorating their room with posters and their flags. They were still blocking the mental link they had with their soulmates as best they could. A few messages were reaching through, now from all of them.

They just ignored everything. 

_'Hey, so I'm another hidden soulmate, learned how to do a direct message in school and thought I'd try it on you, since I still don't wanna be, you know, known by the others, so uhm... wanna meet up sometime?'_

Well, that voice was new. They decided to respond

 _'Fuck it, sure. Where?'_


	7. Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Janus talk and meet up.

After finding out they lived around each other, the two decided to meet up. They knew nothing about each other except from the fact they both lived in Gainesville, Florida. Virgil was really nervous. So was Janus. They decided to meet up at a coffee shop near the school.

Janus came in, not knowing who to look for, as they hadn't discussed that.

 _'I'm here, are_ you?' They asked.

 _'I'm in the back booth in the corner'_ The voice said. 

_'Okay, be right there.'_

They walked to the back of the cafe. There was a boy dressed in all blacks and purples, he was very pale, but very handsome. He caught a glimpse of the boy's sky blue eyes, and they were dazzling. His style was impeccable as well. The hoodie was very cool with the patches of purple and the his hair was very cool. 

Virgil was thinking similar things about Janus. Their one showing eye that wasn't covered by bandages, was a beautiful brown color. It looked like there were small flecks of gold and yellow in them, though that could've been the lighting. They were wearing a black beanie with some hair peeking out and covering the bandaged eye. They were wearing a pastel yellow jean jacket with a black shirt as a contrast, then white ripped jeans and black doc martens. The outfit was definitely well thought out and very cool. What Virgil could see of their face was beautiful. This was his soulmate?! 

Both of them felt the fuzzy feeling in their chests. 

"Hello, I'm Virgil."

Janus waved. "I- I'm Janus" He said quietly. 

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's short, I'll do the coffee date next chapter, or maybe the other boyios discussions about hidden soulmates and things.


	8. i LiKE yOuR FUnnY woRDs MaGiC MAn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a look into Virgil's homelife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost the cafe chapter, and I'm sorry, and I am very upset about it because I wrote like 2k words of fluff and adorableness, but I am too pissed to rewrite it. So I'm skipping it, and I may rewrite it as like a bonus chapter at the end of the book.
> 
> This chapter has a TW for Death, Guns, Yelling, Fighting, Crying, Abuse, Drinking, and Blood.

Virgil got home and closed the door of his room, flopping on his bed with a dreamy smile. Even the shouting and banging of parents fighting couldn't bother him right now. He sighed happily and turned on the playlist he'd been subtly making of all the songs Janus had said they liked. It was a rare happy moment at home that he was having, but of course that wouldn't last. 

He heard a loud scream and then silence. That wasn't good. His mother never went quiet when they were fighting unless she got knocked out. He then heard a gunshot and another scream.

 _'Fuck, fuck, this is really bad, oh shit'_ He thought. He started panicking, but he couldn't go down in risk of getting hurt himself. 

"Oi, brats!" That was his father's voice. Oh no.

He slowly got up and walked down the stairs, meeting his little sister Missy and brother Remy on the stairs. They walked down in silence. They stood in front of their obviously drunk father. He gestured for them to follow him into the kitchen. 

There laid his mother. She was pale and still. There was blood seeping into her white shirt. Her favorite shirt. She was dead. She was dead and his father had killed her. He started tearing up. Sure his mother had been a bit mean sometimes, but she loved them. She protected them. She protected them from their father. She had accepted him, called him her son. He heard quiet sobs on his right and turned and pulled Missy into a hug. 

"This," He kicked the dead body. "This could've been any of you. Don't forget that. Never disobey me like she did." He said, threateningly, standing over them with a glare of his face and blood on his hands.

As he walked out, he threw the beer bottle he was holding at Virgil's head. He felt it scratch him and shatter. He could feel warmth spreading along his neck and on his cheek. He winced but didn't make a big reaction until his father left the room. "Ouch" He said quietly, moving his hand to his cheek and feeling a lot of blood on his finger and he winced again when he touched the cut. 

"Oh my god, V, we need to get you some bandages. Come on." Remy took his hand and led him up the stairs, Missy following behind, still crying. 

Remy bandaged his neck and put a rainbow band-aid over the cut on his cheek. Once that was done, the weight of what their father had done really set in. He started sobbing along with Missy, Remy joining soon after. They ended up in a sibling cuddle pile, crying profusely. Usually if they were all crying like this, their mother would come in and comfort them and be able to make everything better, but now...

"And I thought today was supposed to be a good day..." He muttered quietly. 

Remy sat up. "M-Mom wouldn't want us to just cry..." He said, wiping his eyes. "We should do something... go somewhere." 

"B-But where?" Missy asked. 

"I don't know. I-I'm a legal adult in 2 days, we could take dad's money, b-buy an apartment, even live on the streets, anything would be better than here." 

"That's true."

"Dad doesn't even buy anything with his credit card either, so we could take that and transfer all the money from that account to a new one, get a new another credit card and then be able to live somewhere else." Remy said.

"Yes, let's do it"

They may not be able to pull this off, but Virgil really really hoped they could. Maybe their life could get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter. I like making my characters suffer. Mwahahaha


	9. Meets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yee yeeeeee

As Virgil walked to school a few days later, he heard footsteps and Janus' voice in his head. 

_'Hey'_

Then he saw Janus step up beside him. He smiled a little at his new datemate. 

"Hey, Janus." 

"What happened to your neck?" Janus asked quietly, touching the bandage a little. 

"Nothing, it's nothing." He reassured. "I broke some glass and it hit me in the face." 

"Ah. Sounds painful" 

The two had found out that their schools were near each other so they could walk together to the bus stop, then Virgil would have to get off first for his school and Janus would stay on for a little longer. Today was the first time he hadn't worn a turtleneck or something to cover the bandages, so Janus was seeing them for the first time. 

"Hurt a bit, but I'm fine." He smiled a bit. 

As they got to the bus stop, they saw a line of people, some new, some they'd seen a million times before, as they were regular people going about their days. 

One new person seemed to catch both of their eyes. He was tall. At least 5'10. And he was skinny. He was wearing almost rectangular glasses. His button up shirt was perfectly neat and there wasn't a spec of dust on that or his tie. He was holding a book that he seemed to be very engrossed in. He looked around their age, but he definitely was taller than them. Janus was only 5'6 while Virgil was close to that at 5'4. This boy was very attractive though.

They sat away from the boy, waiting for the bus. As they stood up to get on the bus when it arrived, the boy walked over. 

"Pardon me, I know I should have asked earlier, but does this bus stop at Westerburg High School?" He asked Virgil. Logan then felt the burning in his chest that was associated with the meeting of soulmates. There were two people here, and statistically, only one would be his soulmate, but which one.

"It is" Virgil said cooly, though inside he was panicking. Fuck, this wasn't good. 

"Ah, alright. Are either of you...-" 

Before he could finish his question, Virgil took the hand of the shellshocked Janus- who flinched a bit- and walked onto the bus. 

"Let's just not talk to him. He doesn't know that we're both his soulmates." He whispered to his partner. 

Janus nodded and they sat down together in the back of the bus. 

All too soon, Virgil had to get off of the bus. Much to his dismay, the boy stood up as well. He had been too blinded by panic to realize the boy said the name of his school. 

"I'll see you later, Jan." He said. Janus waved and got out their phone. They did the little heart with their fingers. Virgil laughed a bit and did it back. He walked off of the bus, trying to keep his distance from the pretty boy from the bus stop. 


	10. My Old Shool House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thems the schools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW Bullying, Mentions of S/H, and Blood

Virgil took the long way to his locker, partially to avoid the new boy and partially to avoid- Nevermind.

He finally got there, and wow, of course, there was the new boy, standing next to Virgil's locker. He kept his head down, hoping that the boy wouldn't recognize him from the bus stop. He put his stuff away, then heard a familiar voice. 

"Well well well, Emo, how nice to see you again." He whipped around. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were avoiding us."

There stood Bryce with his two goons, Matt and Chad. 

"What do you want, asshole" Virgil spat, trying to not sound scared. 

"Aww, come now, my Emo," He said, walking so he was close to Virgil and lifted his chin up with his finger. "Don't be like that"

"L-Leave me alone" He said, frowning and trying to get away from Bryce's grip but ending up backing up so he was leaning against his locker

"No, I don't think I will," He said, putting the arm that wasn't holding up Virgil's chin against the locker, pinning him there. 

"Shut up and go away." He spat again, trying to move away, but Bryce punched him in the gut. He doubled over, wind knocked out of him.

"Hey, leave him alone!" A loud voice said. Virgil was too busy trying to catch his breath to see who it was.

"Oh, look who's got himself a little boyfriend" Bryce's voice said while he was punched again, this time in the nose, and forced to the ground. "Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, I will inform the staff of the building." The other voice said. 

"Oooo, a tattle tail, I'm so scared" 

"Logan!" He heard a shout of someone's name. He wondered who that was and why it was so loud. There were then footsteps. 

He blinked a few times and looked around. There was Roman Prince, the new kid from a few days ago and his soulmate. He saw Roman hug this new person from behind. He'd called out Logan before so- Of course, this must be L. Or at least that's what he'd told the others to call him before they met. How had he not realized this?

"Hello, Roman." Logan said to the person behind him. Roman was tall. And when he said tall, he meant it. Taller than Logan, at least 6 foot. 

"What are you doing?"

"This person seems to find it acceptable to bully another student and seemingly harass them, and will not listen when myself or said student said to." Wow, he sounded even more robotic in person.

Bryce huffed and walked away, his loyal subjects following. Virgil sat up a bit.

"Are you okay?" That was Roman's voice.

He nodded a bit, standing up. "Used to it." He muttered. 

"That's not good..." Roman said. "You shouldn't be used to it."

"I am, it's fine, been happening for a few years anyways." He said, almost falling over and leaning on his locker. The being punched in the gut and wearing a binder wasn't helping his breathing. ~~Plus he'd been wearing his binder for 3 days, but that's not the point.~~

"That's not good." Roman frowned

He was glad he'd met Roman earlier because he didn't get the soulmate burning right now.

"Been through worse, I'm good." He said. "Excuse me."

He walked off to his first class shakily. 

Well, he tried. He made his way towards his first period class, but knew he probably wouldn't be able to get there, feeling incredibly dizzy, feeling blood still dripping down his face from the nose punch. He made his way to the closest bathroom, hiding his face. He managed to make it into the bathroom and into a stall and sat down. 

He sat there for a bit, hearing both the warning bell and the bell for first period starting but ignoring them. He took some deep breaths, or tried, and closed his eyes. He stayed there, hoping he could maybe stay there for the rest of the school day and just avoid everyone. But of course, that couldn't last. 

He heard the door open. He tried to be quiet but his phone started ringing in his pocket. "Shit" He cursed quietly In an effort to not look weird, he stood up and opened the door, hood over his face, looking down.

"Oh, it's you, I was looking for you." That was Roman's voice. Double shit. "Are you okay?"

He nodded and looked away. "I'm perfectly fine, and I can take care of my-" He winced a bit, moving the wrong way and having his binder dig into him a bit more, causing more pain in his ribs and chest. "I can take care of myself." He finished. 

"I think you should go to the nurse, Emo."

"I can do what I want, Princey." He said back. "And what I want is to not do that. Now leave me alone please."

"No thanks, I'd like to make sure you're okay. Logan is also looking for you because he's smart and thinks the punches looked like they may have caused some damage."

"I'm fine." He repeated. He tried to walk out past Roman, but Roman grabbed his wrist. He yelped in pain. If you know why, you know why. He ripped his arm away and ran out of the bathroom. He thought about his choices. He could go somewhere else in the school, but Roman or Logan would find him. So out of the building it was. He went to his locker, and grabbed his things, then went out of the building. He got to the bus stop and waited for the next bus to Janus' house. He knew that Janus' parents were most likely home. He'd met them 2 days after he'd met Janus. They were very kind to him before. 

When the bus arrived, he got on it and sat on the back, hiding himself in case someone followed him. The bus pulled away with no sign of Logan or Roman. He took a deep breath, completely regretting running when he was already having trouble breathing. Everything that had happened caught up to him and he started crying because of the pain. He got to Janus' house and knocked on the door. 

"Hell- Oh, Virgil, what's wrong?" Thomas asked, stopping when he saw the tears on Virgil's face and his bloody nose. "Come inside." Thomas said. 

Virgil walked in, holding his nose so that way he wouldn't drip blood on the carpet. 

"Thomas, who was at the door- oh, Virgil, oh my god, what happened?" Nico ran over. He looked at the bloody nose Virgil was covering and the way his breathing was uneven. 

"How about you sit?" Thomas asked. Virgil nodded and sat down. "Would you be okay talking about what happened?" 

"Well..." He thought for a minute, trying to calm himself a bit. "I get bullied in school, because of course I do, it's high school and I look like this." He laughed humorlessly. "And this one guy is relentless and he punched me and then my soulmates appeared, or two of them, I'd already met both, and neither of them really know I'm their soulmate, but I wanted to stay away from them, and they would leave me alone, and so much shit has happened these past days I couldn't... handle it." He said kind of quickly. 

"That's not good" Thomas said, pulling him into a hug. Virgil broke down again. He couldn't remember the last time anyone besides his siblings had even showed him mild affection and this just broke him. 

"Virgil, is there any particular reason that you're not breathing properly right now?" Nico asked. His kind tone made Virgil just want to open up and spill everything that had been bugging him and causing him pain. But he couldn't do that. 

"I- I'm- I'm trans... FTM..." He said, looking down. "And I got punched in the stomach and ran while in my binder..."

Nico hugged him as well. "How long have you been wearing your binder?"

"... 3 days straight.."

"Virgil, you need to bind safely." Nico said, in a scolding tone, but it was still kind. 

"I know..." It had been so long since anyone had cared enough to ask. He knew his siblings needed to deal with their own things and he knew he wasn't that important, but he felt happy that they asked. 

"Here, let me take care of your nose." Thomas said. Virgil nodded and Thomas got to work. This was nice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you get the reference that the title is, you are now my best friend, no fighting it. 
> 
> I also may do another bonus chapter with Virgil meeting Janus' family-


	11. Chapter Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmates discuss things and this is a filler chapter, im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I kinda abandoned this story, I got caught up in my other ones-  
> I haven't given up on this one, though, and the next one should be longer.   
> It's going to be angsty.

Janus tried to call Virgil. They'd felt extreme anxiety and then pain. They knew Virgil got bullied in school, and wanted to make sure he was okay. It went to voicemail. It never went to voicemail. Or it did, but there was always a text afterwards. There was no text. He wasn't answering. Oh, shit, what if he was hurt? They needed to contact him.

_'V?'_ They asked, trying to get to him.

They suddenly realized he'd been contacting all the soulmates at once when he heard voices of

**_'Who was_ ** _**that?'** _

"Was _that the missing soulmate?!'_

** _'Who's V?'_ **

Fuck. 

~~_'i'm okay'_~~ That was Virgil's voice. He'd probably only contacted Janus, so 

_'Thank god! You didn't answer the phone! You scared me!'_

~~_'sorry. something happened'_ ~~

_'was that you who got hurt?'_

~~_'yeah... bryce again'_ ~~

_'where are you, I'm going to find you.'_

~~_'heading to my house'_ ~~

_'I'll be right over'_

**_'Was that the one I ran into at the store?'_ **

**_'I am pretty sure that I have met the missing soulmate as well, today at the bus stop. Though there were 2 there and I couldn't tell which one it was.'_ **

**_'Wow.'_ **

_'What if they were both soulmates and thats why you couldn't tell, cause you'd have felt drawn to one more than the other most likely'_

** _'The odds of that are nearly impossible, though it isn't a wild assumption.'_ **

The others continued to talk as Janus walked back to their house. 

Little did they know, the next few hours would be some of the worst of their life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, boy. Prepare yourselves for some angst in the next chapter.


	12. Talks and Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Janus have a talk about something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for fighting, crying, and panic attacks

Janus found their way to Virgil's house. When they arrived, they knocked on the door. Virgil opened it. 

"Hi, Jan." 

"Hi"

"Come in?"

Janus nodded and walked in after Virgil. 

They walked up to Virgil's room. Janus brought out Everest. 

They talked for a while, just enjoying each other's company. 

"Jan?" Virgil asked after a small bit of comfortable silence.

"Hm?" 

"Do you ever think- do you ever want to maybe... tell the others we exist? Maybe try out talking to them? Maybe they aren't so bad..."

"I- I've thought about it... but I- I can't..."

"Why not? Why are you so against it?" 

"I- I can't... I don't want- I can't tell you.." 

"Why not? You're supposed to be able to trust me, you can tell me anything"

"I- I just can't, Virgil"

"Why?"

"I just _can't_ Virgil! Why can't you understand that?!" Janus yelled, then clapped their hand over their mouth. Shit, they'd yelled and now Virgil would hate them

"Because! I've told you so many personal things! I've trusted you with things I didn't trust anyone else with! Why can't you just tell me this one thing! I'd understand better!"

They flinched at the yelling. It was Karen all over again. Virgil was going to slap them, he was going to yell at them, say they were a bad person, that they didn't deserve to live. Instead of fear, their blood started boiling. They only felt rage. 

"No! I can't tell you! It's personal, you should respect my fucking decision and just drop it! I do trust you, but not with that! I haven't told anyone!"

"I just am asking you to explain why you're so against it!" 

They kept yelling, the volume getting louder and louder. Eventually, after a particularly familiar insult that Virgil shot at Janus, they snapped. 

"Fuck off!" Janus yelled, standing up, grabbing their bag, and storming out of the room. 

Virgil collapsed on the ground. He'd fucked up. He really had fucked up. Now he would be hated by everyone. His soulmates would be hating him for hiding, Janus would hate him for being a jerk, his father hated him for god knows why, his siblings probably hated him, he didn't have anyone else. He was alone. A small snake slithered up his arm. He looked. It was Everest. 

Shit, now Janus would think he stole Everest. 

"I feel bad, Everest. Do you think it's going to be okay?"

Everest stuck her tongue out and blepped Virgil on the nose. Virgil smiled a bit. 

"You're a good snake."

Everest squeezed his hand a bit tighter. He took a deep breath and then decided to do something crazy. He thought to his soulmates. 

~~_'hello'_ ~~

**'Who are you?'**

_'Hello?'_

~~ _'i'm v. i'm one of your soulmates. i've been hiding for reasons and i decided to talk to you guys now. would you like to come over and we can talk?'_ ~~

_'Whoa! Hi, V!'_

~~_'i'll give you my address if you'd like and we can talk.'_ ~~

_'That sounds adequate'_

**'That'd be wonderful!'**

_~~'great.'~~ _

Virgil gave them his address and waited. 

* * *

Janus was walking. They were ignoring the soulmates talking, too busy sobbing to care. Virgil hated them now. They were alone. They'd overreacted. 

They walked into a park, not wanting to go home yet. 

They looked around at the dimly lit park. When had it gotten dark? They didn't know. 

They sat on a bench, going through their backpack to find Everest. 

She wasn't there. 

"Evee?" They called, looking around. "Everest?"

She wasn't there. 

They started to freak out.

Shit, she was gone.

Their parents were gone all over again. 

They started to hyperventilate, sobs coming quicker, tears falling faster.

She was gone.

They needed her

She was important, she was from their parents

Shit

Mom and Mama were gone and now his last surviving gift from them was too. 

Where could she be?

Shit! They hadn't grabbed her at Virgil's!

They had to go back. 

They started running. 

* * *

It had been a while. The others were on their way. Virgil was just waiting. 

There was a knock on the door and he walked downstairs. He was home alone, so having guests wasn't a problem. Everest was on the couch, he didn't want to show her off immediately in case the others were scared of snakes. He opened up the door. There stood Ro, L, and Pat. 

He'd seem Ro and L before, but Pat was new. And wow, was he adorable. 

All of them were so pretty. 

Roman with his bright green eyes and beautifully messy but still neat hair. He had impeccable fashion sense and the makeup he was wearing just complimented his already amazing features. 

Logan's piercing blue eyes were hidden behind his round glasses. He was wearing a simple short sleeved button up shirt and tie, but he was so beautiful. He had a light dusting of freckles on his nose. Virgil got the urge to kiss every one of them. 

Pat was shorter than the other two. He didn't know this one's full name, but he knew it'd be as adorable as him. He had more freckles than Logan, and his glasses weren't round. His hair was floppy and curly. It looked soft. He wanted to play with it. He had an adorable cat sweatshirt on. His figure was slightly rounder than the other two, and his face shape was a bit more round than the other two's more sharp features, but it added to his charm. Pat looked like he smiled a lot, which fit perfectly with his looks. He wanted to see that smile every day. 

He felt the burning more pulled towards Pat, because he hadn't met him before. 

"You! You were the kid from earlier!" Roman exclaimed. 

"Surprise" He said. "Come in."

"Why didn't I feel the burning thing?" Roman asked as he and the others came inside. He shut the door behind them.

"Well... we met earlier. I ran into you at the mall a while ago. You spilled coffee on yourself so you couldn't really tell, I guess."

Roman gasped. "That was you?!"

"Yeah.."

"Wow"

"So it was you that I was feeling the sensation towards at the bus stop?"

"Yeah." He wouldn't tell about Janus. That wasn't his place. 

"Do you know the other soulmate? I ran into one at an arts and crafts section at a store a while ago."

"Well-"

He was cut off with frantic banging on the door. 

He opened the door and a red eyed, out of breath Janus practically fell inside. 

"Everest!" They shouted. 

The small white snake immediately made her way over. They grabbed her and collapsed onto the floor, sobbing and holding her to their chest. 

The others stared at Janus, concerned. Virgil sat next to them.

"Jan, it's okay. Calm down. Can I touch you?"

Janus nodded, trying to muffle his sobbing. 

Virgil pulled Janus into a hug. Janus sobbed into his shoulder, still clutching Everest. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" They muttered in between sobs. "Please don't hate me, V, I didn't mean any of it"

Virgil felt his heart break at the absolutely terrified and helpless pleadings of his datemate. "It's okay, Jan. I know you didn't. I was a jerk. I didn't mean it either. I could never hate you."

"I'm sorry" They muttered again. 

Virgil kissed them on the head. This was a rare moment where they were without their beanie, their curly hair showing. They hated their curly hair, so they always wore a beanie, but Virgil loved it. 

"It's okay, Jan. It's going to be okay. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8, you can do it." 

Janus shakily did the breathing pattern, trying to calm themself. After a bit and some more quiet encouragements from Virgil, they calmed down. They were so exhausted from the stress and the panic that they fell asleep right there. Virgil let himself relax. Janus was okay. They didn't hate him just yet. 

There was a cough from above him. He looked up. Oh, right, the others were here. 

"Oh, right. Hi."

"We have a lot to talk about."


End file.
